In America we have a saying that is commonly used. It goes: “God won’t give me more than I can handle.” This is such a feel good statement. It references God which, I think, brings comfort. It acknowledges that life is hard, but that I won’t break under the pressure. And some take it a step further indicating that coming through a struggle makes them even stronger. On the surface this all seems great, but may I suggest that this saying is far from God’s character? Think about it. God doesn’t give us bad because He is not bad, He is good. God does not expect us to handle the bad things in life alone, He walks with us. God does not expect that we are strong enough on our own to successfully come out the other side, He’ll give us His strength as we depend on Him. And we can praise Him for bringing us through!
The spring of 2002 was a wonderful time in my life. Here I was 25 years old, happily married with a growing belly, a perfectly healthy pregnancy with a baby boy due in late April. I had gladly left my career in home design to focus on this little bundle of joy and our growing family. This moment in my life was a culmination of dreams come true, answered prayer and years of making difficult but right decisions. Things could not be more right in that moment. April 1, 2002 is a day in my life that I will never forget. It was a monday, April fools day and the day after Easter. I was deep into nesting and preparing for Kyle, our son, to arrive in just a few short weeks. It was a beautiful and unusually warm spring day which prompted Brett to come home from work early so that we could take a walk in the sunshine. After our walk and dinner I was cleaning up the kitchen, Brett was nearby on the couch. He was entertaining me, as he likes to do, making jokes, making me laugh and - as many pregnant women have experienced from too much laughter - making me wet my pants! Or so I thought. Once the laughter subsided the other did not! I looked at Brett, surprised and in disbelief, and said “I think my water just broke”. Thinking back that would have been a great April fools joke, but this was really happening. We threw some essentials into a bag and off to the hospital we went. A late night of pitocin, pain medication and monitoring was followed by the early morning delivery of Kyle Andrew Slater. He had lots of dark brown hair, a button nose and perfectly shaped ears. He was so cute and sweet. His little body, four weeks early, measured 19 ½ inches long and weighed 5 pounds 12 ounces. In addition to his small size he was not breathing well or nursing at all. The nurses came to me with concern and asked if they could take him for an xray of his lungs. I was unable to go with him, so Brett went with the nurses to take Kyle for the xray. To my complete surprise Kyle did not return to me that day. Xrays confirmed that his lungs were not strong enough for him to breath well and get the oxygen he needed. He was put on a ventilator as he began the first 9 days of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. After my token 2 days of recovery in the hospital I found myself packing up and heading home without my brand new baby. That was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do in my life. It felt so different, so lonely, so empty. As Brett and I began to drive out of the hospital parking structure I stopped him. Before going any further I needed to pray. I needed to call out to God for His comfort and His guidance. I needed to remember that my understanding is minute and God’s is all encompassing. I needed to lay my child down at His feet and trust Him to lead me through a life circumstance that was bigger than anything I could handle on my own.
Did God give me the early delivery of my son? The weak lungs? The extended hospital stay? Of course not! God is good and brings good things to people who love Him. “How abundant are the good things that You have stored up for those who fear You, that You bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in You.” Psalm 31:19 But we live in a fallen, broken world and so we experience the result of that. Yes, we struggle, but please know that God does not cause tragedy. His heart breaks when we suffer and His desire is for our good. “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Did God abandon me in my time of need? That is far from the truth. Not only has God surrounded me with people in my life, God is with me, too. God’s desire is to walk with me in my highs and lows. God asks me to give Him my burdens and offers to carry the weight of life’s struggles. 1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.” In fact, this is not a mere suggestion or request by God, but instructions on how to lean on Him in our time of need.
Did God expect that I was emotionally and physically able to handle this? That attitude ignores the fact that I am commanded to “lean not on my own understanding” Proverbs 3:5. When I lean on God He enables me to walk through the storms of life. My strength comes from Him and He equips me on a daily basis, I am constantly depending on His strength, not my own. Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I get through the struggles because of His strength and my accepting His help. Lamentations 3:22-23 says “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” New every morning, I love that. Each day I begin by leaning on Him is a day of His mercy and faithfulness in the struggles of my life. And not only that but a day of learning and growth. God’s word says that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6. Since Jesus has not yet returned, then God is still at work in me and I’m confident that He is using the struggles of life to do it with.
Finally, as I come out of a storm I can look back and see how God has moved in my life, how He has sustained me and my loved ones and how He was in control when I was uncertain. God desires my praise in the good and in the bad simply because He is God. When I praise Him in all things I also have a reason to tell others of His goodness. I praise Him because He is the Creator and I am the created one. I praise Him because He brought me into existence. I praise Him for the sacrifice He made on the cross to cover my sins and bring me back into relationship with Him. In all things I praise Him. “Praise be to the Lord, to God our savior, who daily bears our burdens.” Psalm 68:19
I have never been one to be sickly or need to see doctors for anything other than the normal healthy check up required to play sports in school. I had never had a broken bone or stitches. I had never stayed in a hospital for any reason. I was not prepared to leave my newborn in the care of others in the NICU. I was not strong enough to wake up on that third morning in my own bed, without the child who had been with me for the last 8 months. But for those 9 days I leaned on God to get me through and I’m all the better for it. For His strength is complete, His understanding is full, His peace is beyond any pep talk I could ever give myself. I was not prepared to care for a premature infant with weak lungs and apnea. But through prayer and trust in God I have raised this child for almost 11 years now. He is strong, healthy and energetic and such a joy in my life. I thank God for him!
So, the next time you find that saying come to mind and across your lips, think again. Do you find yourself in a place that is more than you can handle? How will you humbly trust in His strength to lead you through it?
Heavenly Father- I know that I live in a broken world and that the struggles of life are a part of that. Thank You for Your care during the good and the bad, and help me to always depend on You to get me through. ~Beth
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