How Bad Do You Want It?

Genesis 32- Jacob has spent 20 years in Haran, working for his father-in-law Laban. He now has a family and a herd and God is sending him back to the promise land, Canaan, to be with his father, Isaac, and to fulfill the prophecy that has been passed down from Abraham. In this chapter we see that, while Jacob is completely in God’s will, he wrestles with God, literally!

Have you ever been promised something, then had to wait for it? Isn’t it what consumes your mind relentlessly? I love those moments of anticipation, when my mind gets to wonder about how it’ll all play out. I get to imagine what it’ll feel like when everything comes to fruition. But then, eventually, if enough time goes by, that warm and fuzzy goodness fades away and is replaced by impatience, frustration and maybe a little bitterness. And then I start to plan out how I’ll make it happen. Taking control of the reigns and of my life, it is MY life after all...right? How far would you go to make that promise a reality? Would you try to buy it? That seems reasonable. Would you lie for it, maybe manipulate your way into getting it? You may argue that the end justifies the means, but does it really?

Jacob’s promise came when his mother, Rebekah, was pregnant with twins. God told her that Esau would serve Jacob (Genesis 25:23). Jacob was always very strong and capable, even at birth he was grabbing at Esau’s heel on the way out (Genesis 25:26). He was also very smart, some would say crafty even, when working with others. He mostly stayed in the tents (community) and worked well with people in their community. Traditionally, the family birthright would’ve gone to the firstborn, Esau, but Jacob, thinking back to the promise, wanted it. He saw Esau in a compromised position, he realized he had the upper hand in that moment and he seized the opportunity. He bought Esau’s birthright for a simple bowl of stew (Genesis 25:30-34). And then there was the blessing. This was the beloved promise that had been passed down from Abraham. This was God’s promise to give their descendants the promise land (Canaan), to make their descendants greater than the stars, and to bless all generations through their seed (Jesus Christ) (Genesis 27:28-29). Jacob wanted this blessing and through manipulation and trickery he disguised himself as his older brother Esau, falsely presenting himself to his father, Isaac, and in doing so received the blessing, the promise. It had been prophesied that Jacob would be in line for the blessings all along, and I’m sure he knew that as a child growing up. But how much satisfaction do you think Jacob had with the blessing once Isaac found out he had been deceived? How good does it feel to gain something through lying and manipulation? Can we really enjoy the end result? I know what that answer is for myself, do you?

After Jacob received the blessing (which couldn’t be reversed by the way) he was sent to Haran for 20 years. I’d probably want to go away too, and not show my face to the ones I hurt! But now comes the time when God tells Jacob that it’s time to go back to Canaan. In the 20 years that Jacob was away a lot happens. In addition to being married and having many children, he has built up his father-in-laws business as well as his own. He has been a hard worker and very successful. God has also done a great work in his heart and Jacob truly listens to God, follows God and walks with God. As he, his family, servants and flocks travel to Canaan one night he’s alone. During the night God incarnate comes to him and wrestles with him. And I wonder why now? Why when Jacob is in God’s will? Why when he is going where God has directed? Why when so many are relying on Jacob for their protection and provision? As I began studying this passage I thought that it was because Jacob needed his confidence built up and surely wrestling with God would do that. Instead I found that just the opposite happens. Hosea 12:4 says that Jacob “wept and begged for His favor”. Rather than Jacob’s confidence being built up, he is completely humbled. Through this struggle he realizes that it is not about taking what he deserves because it is owed to him, but rather that he’s a mortal man, unworthy of the One who has given the promise. Through this exchange Jacob’s perspective changes from “this is my life and I’ll take what I deserve” to “I need You God for direction in all things, please guide me”.

This is what it took for God to get Jacob to the frame of mind that the blessing comes from Him, to the point where Jacob WANTED the blessing to come only from God instead of his own doing. After that night Jacob never looked back, he was a changed man and he allowed God to lead him in all things. How bad do you want blessing from God? Bad enough to lie? Bad enough to scheme and manipulate? Bad enough that you’ll take advantage of anyone you think is in your way? How about bad enough to ask God and wait for Him?

Dear Heavenly Father- Thank you for the many blessings You have for me. Help me to wait on You for Your many promises. ~ Beth